Bridal Shower Etiquette

Bridal showers are a chance for friends and family to help a couple start their journey together, which, of course, involves showering them with gifts! If you find yourself in charge of planning a shower, here is a look at some classic shower etiquette with some modern twists.

Hostess with the Mostess 

The couple shouldn’t host their own bridal shower, as it can appear like a pursuit for presents. Traditionally, the maid of honor or bridesmaids host the shower. But now, it is acceptable for family friends, relatives, or even coworkers of the bride or groom to host. Often, a group of friends or relatives will come together to host the shower, which can help distribute tasks and expenses. If no one steps up to the plate, it’s now considered appropriate for even the mother of the bride or groom to host.

Who to Invite

The general rule of thumb to determine who to invite is simply that all bridal shower guests must also be invited to the wedding. The guest list is usually comprised of the female attendants, family, and friends of the bride. But nowadays, showers can be co-ed and may include the groom and his friends. When creating the guest list, remember to communicate with the bride for her guidance and approval.

What to Do

Of course, like any party, there should be food and drinks. Snacks, hors d’oeuvres, or desserts are perfectly appropriate. Just be sure to time the shower between mealtimes so guests are not expecting a full meal.

It has become customary to play a shower game. Just keep in mind the personality of the guest of honor and refrain from choosing games that may embarrass a shy or reserved bride. With some planning and help from the groom, a popular game can include trivia on how well the bride knows her groom-to-be. Nowadays, some showers even involve a planned activity, incorporating spa days or cooking classes.

Of course, at a shower, the gifts take centerstage, and a portion of the event is devoted to the bride opening her gifts. The hostess or another designated person should sit closely to take notes on who each gift comes from so that the bride can easily write thank you notes later.

What’s the Magic Number?

There isn’t a magic number of showers that is acceptable. However, if there will be multiple showers, try to invite different people to each one, so the same guests don’t feel obliged to buy multiple gifts. Also, if several showers are planned, it can be fun to vary the themes. While friends of the bride’s mom may throw a more traditional shower for housewares, the bridesmaids could throw a lingerie shower for an unexpected twist.

The Bride’s Role

After being showered with gifts, the bride should not forget to do a little gift-giving herself. The bride should give each hostess a small thank you gift at the end of the party. Items they can use in their own homes or gift cards to a restaurant or spa are appropriate gifts.

Planning a shower doesn’t have to be a daunting task. Modern day shower etiquette is flexible. Just keep in mind the personality of the bride. Happy Planning!


*Emily Fairbairn contributed to this article.

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Trend Alert: Say Hello to Sleeves!

Brides this season are trading in the ever-popular strapless dress for one with sleeves. Non-strapless dresses allow some experimentation in bridal style. And brides can dance the night away without constantly pulling their dress up. With these perks, don’t expect this trend to disappear any time soon!

Photo from StyleMePretty.com

Go with a lace sleeve to add a romantic or vintage look to your wedding.
Kate Middleton went with lace for the royal wedding!

Photo from lover.ly

Try thick transparent sleeves for an elegant look. 

The plus side of straps is that they provide more support!

Photo from weddingdressbee.net

Wear a one-shoulder dress to have the best of both worlds! 

It draws attention to the collarbone and shoulders.

Photo from sortrature.com

Wow the crowd with a textured dress. 

Don’t be afraid to think outside of the box!

Photo from southernpiphi.tumblr.com

An added bonus of a dress with sleeves is the beauty of a unique back design.

Photo from raihan-wed.com

An illusion neckline can give the appearance of a strapless gown with all of the benefits of straps.

 Hop on board this hot trend and try on a dress with sleeves or straps during your wedding dress shopping adventure!

Morgan Impeartrice contributed to this article.

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Naz & Sean: Movie Magic

Both being film school graduates, Naz and Sean were full of creative ideas for their movie-themed wedding. With a personally-produced movie, a live action sequence, and Bollywood style dance, there were tons of details to coordinate! But it was a magical day, where traditional Pakistani customs met Americana. Check out the awesome photos by Jay Crihfield Photography!

The lovely ladies

Showing off the bride's Mehndi.

With the vibrant colors, gorgeous jewelry, and intricate henna designs, 

it's the perfect combination of tradition and glamour!

Photo by Camille Victoria Weddings LLC

The Ceremony at River East Arts Center

After the ceremony, an intricate grand exit was planned.

Remember, these huge banners from high school football game days?

We arranged for special permission to gather on the Riverwalk outside.

We readied the newlyweds and started the countdown....

And away they went!

As guests cheered and waived ribbons!

We got special permission for a car to drive up on the Riverwalk for a very limited amount of time, so the timing had to be just right!

This convertible awaited the bride and groom to carry them around town.

The guests returned inside for cocktail hour!

Photo by Camille Victoria Weddings LLC

The cardbox with a little bit of whimsy.

Notice the bird's comments about the use of its cage.

Photo by Camille Victoria Weddings LLC

Upon the bride and groom's return, it was time for their grand entrance into the reception. 

A black and white silent-film style movie, starring and personally filmed and produced by the couple, played for guests. 

The couple waited behind the scenes for their cue.

In the film, a chase ensues. And where do the characters end up? 

Running right into River East Arts Center, of course!

Cue the live action sequence...

A fight develops between the villain (one of our groomsmen) and the hero (the groom).

Not to worry.... It all ends well with a Bollywood dance.

Cue the music!

Then, it's time for dinner!

Guests enjoyed both classic cuisine by Jewell Events and delicious Pakistani food.

Each table was named after a famous movie. 

Each place setting featured a menu and wedding favor.

This Avatar bride and groom topped off the cupcake tower.

Party Time!

Congratulations to Naz & Sean!

Vendors:

Photography - Jay Crihfield Photography

Floral/Decor - Revel Decor

Hair & Makeup - Mehwish Khan

Lighting - A Sound Investment

Catering - Jewell Events

Pakistani Catering - Sabri Niahari

Wedding Coordination - Camille Victoria Weddings LLC

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Vintage in the Garden: Lauren & Derek

When winter blankets the ground with snow and the temperatures dip below zero, I like to reminisce about our beautiful outdoor weddings. Lauren and Derek had a beautiful Spring wedding at Morton Arboretum, complete with vintage details that gave the day the feel of a 1930s garden party.

The lace runners helped create that elegant vintage look.

Using multiple vases to create the centerpieces provided texture and accentuated the flowers, bringing the garden feel indoors.

Phillip's Flowers created these centerpiece looks.

At each place setting, guests received a vintage key bottle opener - a favor combining both the vintage theme and practicality to give guests something they could actually use!

This Art Deco cake by The Cakery featured the couple's furry family member.

Congratulations Lauren & Derek!

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Elements of Military Weddings

With Veteran’s Day having passed and Thanksgiving around the corner, we take a look at the traditions of military weddings.  In military weddings, special customs demonstrate the honor of individuals who have served our country.

photo from munaluchbridal.com

Engagement   

Of course, the ring completes every engagement. Midshipmen and cadets may give their fiancées a smaller version of their class ring as an engagement ring, instead of the traditional diamond. 

Attire

The main noticeable difference at a military wedding is the attire, with military uniforms replacing tuxedos or suits. The particular uniform can differ depending on the style of wedding, season, and guidelines found in the Government-manual of uniforms. 

The “mess” dress uniform is typical for formal weddings. If the wedding is semi-formal or more casual, service or class-A attire is appropriate.  If any groomsmen serve in a different branch than the groom, they can simply wear their uniforms of comparable formality. If the bride is in the military, she may wear her dress uniform, though most opt for a traditional wedding gown. Family and guests who are active or retired military may also wear uniforms, if they choose.

If the groom and groomsmen are in military dress, then boutonnieres are not used and they simply wear their military decorations.  

Location

            

Often military couples will get married in a military academy or a chapel on base, though they may opt for their own church, synagogue, or wedding venue.  The chaplain of the base may officiate, since the bride or groom may already have close ties with him, and the chaplain will do the ceremony for free.    

            

Seating at the ceremony can be slightly different from the typical wedding, as well. Guests who are currently serving or  have served in the past should be seated according to rank.

Music

For music, the couple may opt for regimental compositions or the theme song of the branch for which the bride or groom serves. 

Decor 

Flags can be placed around the venue to show the couple’s patriotism. Brides can add flowers around the flag to help accentuate the look.

Customs

            

After the ceremony, the bride and groom will leave the sanctuary greeted by guards holding ceremonial weapons.  The newlyweds will usually stop and kiss as they walk through the guards (making for a great photo op!).  Don't be surprised if the bride gets a pat on the butt, as she exits the arch of guards, welcoming her into that branch of service. 

photo from tampabridalshops.com

The cake cutting makes for another fun military tradition. The groom offers his sword to the bride, and they then make the first cut of the cake together holding his sword. That's one oversized cake knife!

photo from laynecorbin.wordpress.com

Military weddings are impressive to see, and incorporating military customs into the wedding allows family and guests to share in the pride for the bride or groom who serves, as well as the pride for this country.


*Natalie Gudel contributed to this article.

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Planning Weddings from Out-Of-Town

Couples today are constantly on the move! Sometimes that means the newly engaged end up planning out-of-state weddings. Though planning from afar may present some added challenges,  there are steps a bride can take to ensure that the planning goes smoothly. 

Get Planning!

Wedding planning does not have to be stressful. But nothing contributes more to a stressful planning process than a shortage of time, especially when planning from out-of-town. Ideally, leave yourself eight months to a year to plan. Start with numbers. Talk about budget and the size of the guest list with your fiancé. With the numbers out of the way, you can then jump right into finding the perfect venue.

Book a Pro!

Booking a wedding planner in the city where you are getting married can help alleviate some pressure. A wedding planner will already be an expert on venues and vendors in the area and will drastically cut down on your time spent researching options. The wedding planner can do the initial research for you, allowing you to simply make the final decisions.

Utilize Technology!

We live in the era of technology, which makes wedding planning from out-of-town so much easier. You can view pictures of venues online, see examples of the past work of vendors, read reviews of vendors, and even listen to audio samples of bands. When you find a few companies you’re interested in, you can e-mail them for more info, participate in consultations by phone or Skype, and share your ideas with them on Pinterest.

Enlist the Locals!

Contact family or friends that live in the area where you’ll be hosting the wedding. Ask them to be scouts for you, attending meetings on your behalf. Having someone at the appointments whose opinion you value (and who can take pictures for you) can be particularly helpful when scoping out potential venues.

Wedding planning from afar may have its extra challenges, but if love can surpass distance, surely the wedding planning can as well!  Happy Planning!

*Natalie Gudel contributed to this article.

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Six Wedding Thank You Note No-Nos

I'm so excited to welcome our guest blogger this week! Thank you note guru, Emily Easton, is sharing her tips for making your thank you notes personal and compelling. 

Six Wedding Thank You Note No-Nos

by Emily Easton

Everyone loves getting a thank you note for a shower or wedding gift. The gift-giver loves it even more when the note-writer does not make these missteps:

1. Making the note too short. Each thank you note should be at least two sentences. Two full sentences. Three is better.

2. Not naming every gift. Don’t thank the giver just for the darling placemats if she also gave you napkins and napkin rings. Somehow, convey that you appreciate each gift – even if you use phrases like “an assortment of kitchen tools.”

3. Failing to mention why you like the gift. Include some description of why you appreciate the gift, such as:

·         We need so many items for our kitchen and the blender you sent is one of our favorite additions! We love smoothies …

·         Mom always brought out special serving items for entertaining, and now the gorgeous pewter platter you gave us starts our collection.

·         Tyler and I are so grumpy without our first cup of coffee. The coffee maker you selected …

·         No need to wonder if the gift you sent will be used! Thanks so much for the check you sent. It went right into our honeymoon fund …

4. Starting with “I.”  You do remember your grade school teacher telling you never ever to start a thank you note with I. It’s too me-me-me.

5.  Starting with the words “Thank You.”  Of course you need to write the words “thank you” in the body of your note. But only the dullest notes start with those words. Force yourself to start with anything but “thank you” and you’re on your way to a great note. Here are some openings that will be appreciated:

• How surprised we were to open the box and see the lovely pitcher you sent us!
• Cold Wisconsin nights will be easier to take with the big plush blanket you gave us.  
• It’s party time! Thanks for the terrific ice bucket you gave us …

6. Complimenting your own wedding. You certainly hope your guests will have – or did have – a good time at your wedding. But don’t brag in your thank you note. Avoid any phrase such as “We’re so glad you were able to come to our wonderful wedding!”  

Emily Easton is a note-writing expert. Her website on Wedding Thank You Notes can be found at www.emilyeaston.com.

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